May 14, 2014 by sisterrachelknecht
Dear family and friends,
Mom! I love you! Happy Mother’s Day! It was so so fun to talk to you
yesterday. And Happy Birthday Carson!! I’m sad I can’t be there for
the party, but we’ll party when I get home!
It’s a beautiful warm breezy day, and we’re planning a p-day Southern
style! Cracker Barrel, antique and thrift stores, and hopefully some
Civil War fun. This email will probably be pretty brief, so forgive me
for that! But I wanted to just write about a few things that happened
this week/things that I’ve learned.
More than ever, I’ve felt like the two worlds of my life right now are
colliding. Before the mission, on the mission, really they’re not
separate worlds. But sometimes it feels like that. But lately, I’ve
been able to see so many people from my past areas. Aaron’s mission
farewell, teacher appreciation dinner in the White House Ward on
exchanges with Sister Talbert, Mother’s Day activity, seeing everyone
in the stake center on Sundays, Bishop’s storehouse, Hermana Davis
visiting, Facebook comments and messages, exchanges with Hermana
Knight, and then talking to my family on Sunday. So many people I love
so so much. I left the mission farewell a little broken-hearted; I
didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to so many of the people that were
there. Members from Lebanon, Buena Vista, and the branch here in
Madison. So many families that I love so much, and although I was just
doing what I’m supposed to as a missionary by leaving the farewell to
go to an appointment, I couldn’t help but feel like I was saying
goodbye to them forever! I don’t know when I’ll see some of them next!
But I realized that I will be friends with them forever. I can’t
really explain it. So many people that are a part of my life now that
my friends and family from home have never even met! And this may
sound kind of silly, but to see everyone on Facebook together,
commenting or liking a picture of me and my mom, just made me realize
how it doesn’t matter who came before, or during, or after my mission.
They are all just part of me!
Don’t know why, but this past week was kind of hard for me. After a
really good district meeting, I asked for a blessing. I haven’t asked
for a blessing since January. I don’t know why I’m so hesitant to ask,
but Hermana Rich is such a good example of knowing when she needs one
and not being afraid to ask. She simply says, “I just want to hear
more from Heavenly Father, I need to right now”. In the blessing, it
said that I would look back on this time as one of sweetness, and not
regret. Heavenly Father knows that’s been one of my fears. I am obedient.
I do my best. I repent. I am not perfect, but I try to use the atonement
the best I can and trust in my Savior. But I’ve been insecure, doubting
myself and my “success”. The blessing was confirmation to me that the
atonement will help me look back on this time as one of sweetness, and
not of insecurity, doubt, and regret.
Family, I am working hard and I want you to know that! It’s hard, but
it’s worth it, and I get tired, but it’s worth it. I truly love this
work so much. Our mission president has asked us to tract for an hour
everyday and to read the Book of Mormon for a half hour everyday. I
haven’t even finished the Book of Mormon my whole mission because I
study it pretty slowly and in depth, but he’s asked us to finish it by
the end of what happens to be my last transfer. I am up for the
challenge! I will do my best.
Love you all so much. I hope you know how much!
Hermana Rachel Knecht