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November 27, 2013 by sisterrachelknecht
I am grateful for all of you! And I am so grateful to be here on a mission. It’s incredible, the blessing it is to be here on the Lord’s errand as a full-time missionary. I am by no means perfect, I am a 20 year old girl with very little life, teaching, and Spanish experience. And yet the Lord trusts me, a weak thing, to be His servant. And He has promised so many blessings to me, one of His imperfect servants, if I will just try to do His will and truly repent when I make mistakes.
I’ve dealt with a ton of stress on my mission. I originally thought I would be stress-free (hahahaha, throw in a laugh there, I know you want to). I just have worried so much on my mission. I worry about the people I love here and at home, I worry that I will never be good enough, and I worry what others think of me.
So, that’s a problem. Those feelings are NOT from Heavenly Father. I know that any doubt, fear, or inadequacy I feel are tools that Satan uses to keep me from serving the Lord, and even more than that, keep me from feeling Heavenly Father’s love for me. So, what’s the solution?
Faith. Faith faith faith faith, I love faith. It’s everything. Here’s a part from Preach My Gospel that I love:
Faith leads to action, including repentance, obedience, and dedicated service. When you have faith in Jesus Christ, you trust the Lord enough to follow His commandments—even when you do not completely understand the reasons for them. You accomplish what the Lord wants you to accomplish. You help bring about good in your own life and the lives of others. You are able to do miracles according to the Lord’s will. Your faith will be manifest through diligence and work.
I love that. I want to be a dedicated servant. I want to be diligent. I want to bring good about in my life and in others’ lives. I want all of those things! I want to serve with all my heart, might, mind, and strength.
So, I’m working on it, and learning that it’s a step by step, day by day process. I can be diligent in praying for strength and a positive attitude everyday, so that I can be a light to others and so that I can be truly happy. I can focus less on my inadequacies and more on how I can help others. I can do my best to be obedient everyday, and realize that I am being obedient when I repent for my mistakes, not that I’m past the point of repair. Heavenly Father loves me so much, to help me learn this lesson now, so that I can continue to grow and build off of it for the rest of my life. So I can be a better daughter, sister, friend, aunt, and eventually a wife and mother.
The Lord has been merciful this past week. As I’ve put my trust in Him, He’s led us to people who really need us. That doesn’t mean everyday is a spiritual adventure for me, or that we don’t have slow days. But it means that I’m learning to be patient with the Lord’s will and His timing, and rely on Him because this is His work and He loves us.
And Thanksgiving is coming up. How I love it. Here are some things I’m grateful for that happened this past week:
- Dinner with Hermana Bowman and her daughter, who is like a Peruvian popstar. Or at least was for a little while. She’s so much fun. They’re both way fun, and Hermana Bowman wrapped us up in scarves and zippered up our jackets so that we looked like Randy from “A Christmas Story”. We laughed and almost peed our pants.
- Exchanges with one of the brand new sisters. She taught the First Vision twice that night, and did a great job. She’s so sweet.
- Lesson with the boy we met at Burger King. It went great, and it was amazing to hear his side of the story. His whole family, except for his parents pretty much, are members of the church. He had been experiencing really scary dreams recently, until his grandma told him to read the Book of Mormon before bed. He had a copy, did it, and slept peacefully. He felt like the scary dreams were a sign that he needed to turn to God, and then he met us the next day. So cool.
- Dinner with the Morgans, our ward mission leader and his family. They are a great family, and we had a great discussion about the Gospel. I can’t wait to get to know them more.
- The Christmas Festival in Springfield! We worked a booth, and it was FREEZING. We gave away free hot chocolate, did the surveys, and talked to some great people. Really fun. And met a fantastic couple from Honduras who both wanted Books of Mormon. We’ll be contacting them soon!
- The Accion de Gracias fiesta con la rama de Madison! Oh, it was so much fun. Hermano Reyes dressed up like a turkey, and I met the cutest little girl who followed me around and helped me clean up. She was three or four. Oh I died, she was a doll.
- And I gave a talk in Spanish about “el rescate de los hijos del Senor”. Heavenly Father helped me so much, because I was so nervous.
Oh how I love you so much and am so grateful for all of you. Thank you for supporting me as I strive to serve the Lord with all my heart, might, mind, and strength.
Hermana Rachel Knecht